Well, have you? Ever catch another dude checking out your package? Ya know, your beer package as you’re standing in line? If you have, you know it can be an uncomfortable experience.
I’m only writing about this serious social issue for The Brew Club because I’ve heard several people jokingly ask about it before. Seems its more common than people like to admit!
You know the deal. You’re standing in line wherever you buy beer waiting to pay when you see someone else in line eyeballing your package. (You know, your package of beer, not the Anthony Weiner version.)
I always thought this type of social behavior was a myth…until it happened to me!
He wasn’t subtle about it either! Total staredown, very aggressive like. (Just like the picture up there! Yikes!)
So, being the man that I am, I took a look at what he was buying. (although I already knew from my excellent peripheral vision thank you very much!) It was a giant box of Coors. Mmmmm Coors. :-/
After mutually checking out each others’ beer packages, our eyes met for just a moment before the line began to move and people shuffled forward. I had one of those moments where I’m trying to determine what this guy is thinking. I came to two conclusions.
- He’s thinking I’m a dandy-boy for having a little box of peach-flavored beer that probably costs the same as his party-pack of Coors. Yuppie ass. Perhaps I’m going to head home and put on an apron and feather-dust like my Wife told me to. (BTW, he’d be right except for the part about my Wife telling me to.)
- He’s thinking something along the lines of “Hmmmm. There’s some of that craft beer stuff I’ve been hearing about. I’d love to try it, but I wouldn’t be caught dead with a little box of peach-flavored beer in public.”
I know some people would suggest trying to perform an impromptu beer intervention, trying to save his immortal beer soul right then and there in the checkout line. But that’s not my style. I don’t like people telling me what is good, or what I should or should not do, so I don’t offer my opinions unless asked.
Now I start to contemplate different scenarios. What if the guy also had some Festina Peche instead of Coors? Would we share a knowing look that we know our beer shit?
What if it were an attractive female holding the Coors instead of this dude? Would I be more inclined to try seducing her by waving the Festina Peche slowly back and forth in front of her face? (This works BTW)
Would she be a generous millionaire who was looking for a guy to advise her on good beer? Perhaps she was getting tired of her new BMW M5 and tossed me the keys as a thank you? Oh the possibilities on the beer line!
Going back to the original storyline, while it was only a few seconds, I think what happened was an interesting interaction between two strangers on opposite ends of the beer-loving spectrum.
It was also a vivid reminder of why I never leave the confines of my basement to venture out in public.
Anyway, what do you think? What do you do when you catch another dude (or anyone for that matter) checking out your beer package? Do you initiate a conversation, start a fight, pee your pants in fear? What? Let us know in the comments!